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To Ireland NewsAn Opinionated Overview of Irish News of Importance to Folks Moving Here.
IN THIS ISSUE: Recession Over?; Blarney Bowl; Home-Grown Financial Disasters; Crucifixion and Resurrection; Rump Parliament; The Long Sorry; The Missing Link Roads; Currency Exchange Savings; Butterflies
WHAT RECESSION?
What to do when a machine goes on strike?
We call the neighbourhood repair man who performs his surgery for reasonable rates. When our ten year old washing machine engaged in a sit-down, it cost 95 euro to bring it to the negotiating table and get it back to work.
I commented to the repairman that he must be doing great business in this recession. "Not at all," he answered. "Nowadays the housewives would rather buy a new machine for 500 euro than spend 50 to 100 on repairs."
I wondered aloud if these housewives were living in the same country as me. Yep - and they are by far the majority!
The nation's spendthrifts must be cheering because the recession is now officially over. For the first time in two years, the economy is not falling according to the statisticians. They say we've hit bottom. Consumer sentiment is up and new car sales are rocketing.
It's all a mystery to me. I don't know anyone who hasn't taken a big hit to their income. Ireland is still shedding 6,000 jobs per month and unemployment has risen to 450,000 and is the worst in three decades. One third of all home owners are in negative equity. Tens of thousands can't meet their monthly mortgage payments and have renegotiated their loans. The banks aren't lending except to the most solid credit risks.
So I have to ask myself, has Ireland entered the twilight zone? Or am I just a grumpy old miser?
Wait! That was a rhetorical question. I don't really want to hear the answer.
BLARNEY BOWL - FOURTH OF JULY AMERICAN FOOTBALL GAME
Koreans love their Kim Chi cabbage, the French their mistresses and Americans their football.
Aren't stereotypes great?
But, true! At least in the case of the latter. You can move US'ers to Ireland, but there's still that longing for a Sunday crunch.
So, on Sunday, the Fourth of July, the Irish American Football League will host a meeting between "old rivals" Cork Admirals and the Dublin Dragons. The event takes place at Blarney Castle and there'll be BBQ and food stalls, American cars and what the organisers promise will be "a big day out for those who just want to savour the atmosphere of American football culture." And cheerleaders!!! All patrons on the day will have full access to the Blarney Castle grounds.
Kick-off starts at 2pm, but the grounds of Blarney Castle open at 10am and the place will be jumping. If you need more info, e-mail corkadmirals@gmail.com
Speaking of sports, the Irish thoroughly enjoyed the implosion of the French soccer team at the World Cup in South Africa. You might remember that the Irish were knocked out of the contest when the French captain used his hands to score a goal. Having no one to root for, Irish fans concentrated on rooting against the French. Many a tankard of Guinness was raised to toast France's demise.
Au revoir! C'est la vie.
HOME-GROWN
Ireland needs help from no one to produce firm, ripe disasters. We grow our own tall and blood red.
That's the conclusion of two reports into the financial compost bin that is Ireland. "Home-grown" was the word used to describe the causes of the hothouse growth bubble and resultant debacle. Failures included too much government fertilizer when it was obvious that housing growth was unsustainable. And the government farmers forbade any weeding of growing problems.
One example suffices. If junior regulators were assertive, the banks being examined would report them to their bosses.
Rotten. The whole garden was rotten with greedy weevils, foolish farmers and well fed fat cats.
The same ploughmen are still working the fields. In less than a full growing season, they've hatched a series of schemes to protect their best buds. The damage mounts. 20 billion taxpayer seedlings have already gone bad at one particularly seedy bank. More will surely wither in the coming weeks.
It's what happens when crops aren't rotated regularly and hereditary lords and ladies rule the manor. It's what happens, in other words, when one party of political rulers - Fianna Fail, the Eff Effers - have been in power for 80 almost unbroken years.
CRUCIFIXION AND RESURRECTION
The release of these two damning reports should have given opposition parties a great opportunity to crucify Fianna Fail. But, the political party whose mismanagement caused all the problems were spared a flogging. No crown of thorns, no Via Dolorosa for the lads while the media washed their hands of dull reports and parliamentary debates to concentrate on the spectacle of an innocent being torn to pieces. Barabbas Eff Eff.
In Fianna Fail's place, Golgotha was occupied solely by Enda Kenny, leader of Fine Gael, the second largest political party. He was hoist into position by his second-in-command and half of his front bench, the key apostles of the party. Declaring they had lost confidence in Enda, the heretics hammered in the nails over the airwaves.
Why the rebellion? A shocking opinion poll had just been released confirming the public's serious reservations about Enda. So unpopular are the two leading parties that third place Labour bounded to the head of the political pack. For a moment, perennial also-rans Labour were the most popular party in the state. The rebels within Fine Gael began to fear the Cleansing of the Temple would happen without them.
And then... Resurrection!
True believers flew back from overseas. The demons of despair were driven forth and scales fell from the eyes of lukewarm Enda supporters. When the crucial party vote took place, Enda was re-elected as party leader. He retains his hold on Fine Gael and the doubting Thomases are left with no option but to wash his feet and beg for forgiveness.
Fianna Fail, meantime, retains its hold for two more years on the country, on the spoils and patronage, on the Mercs and perks of office, on the nation's gold and silver pledged to Eff Eff cronies for decades to come, on the guaranteed votes of one quarter of the electorate and clearly, on the blessings of the Almighty.
THE RUMP PARLIAMENT
The longest parliament in English history ran from 1640 to 1660. No election was held for 20 years during which a king was beheaded and Oliver Cromwell set up a Protectorate. The Long Parliament's membership was whittled down to a Rump Parliament and then a Barebones Parliament.
Ireland's current government only seems like it's been in office for twenty years. The long-suffering populace can scarce credit that this crowd were elected only three years ago in 2007.
In one particular, though, Fianna Fail seeks to emulate their old British counterpart. They're not allowing any replacements for members of Parliament/Dail who have died.
Traditionally, Irish by-elections are held within three to six months of the death of a sitting representative. But, this is only tradition. The constitution does not specify a cut-off point for these ballots. And with the current government's unpopularity, they're in no rush to replace the three men who died or left office. The lads are sure to lose any test of their electoral pull. Ireland now has three by-elections long overdue.
How long, I wonder, will the Rump hold out?
There's only one solution. Off with their heads!
THE LONG SORRY
In January of 1972, Richard Nixon was planning to go to China and no one had heard of a place called Watergate. America was mired in Vietnam. Chairman Mao happily contemplated the ruinious results of the Cultural Revolution and the Soviet Union under Premier Brezhnev was at the height of its power.
And in Northern Ireland, British paratroopers opened fire on a peaceful civil rights march by Catholics. Bloody Sunday kicked the IRA's murderous bombing campaign and The Troubles into high gear. A hasty British whitewash absolved the paras and labelled the dead civilians as gun toting terrorists.
It's taken 38 years, but finally a 12 year long investigation, the Saville Commission, uncovered the truth. The march was completely peaceful and the murdered marchers and bystanders totally innocent.
David Cameron, new Prime Minister of Great Britain, summed it up. "There is no point trying to soften or equivocate what is in the report. It is clear from the tribunal’s authoritative conclusions that the events of Bloody Sunday were in no way justified."
"On behalf of the Government, indeed on behalf of our country, I am deeply sorry."
THE MISSING LINK
What is the greatest legacy of the Celtic Tiger boom? Is it:
A. The highest per capita debt in the EU?
B. A countryside blighted by poorly constructed, hodge podge, ribbon development?
C. Redeveloped inner cities, household central heating and a car in every garage?
D. Appreciable immigrant populations and a general opening up of Irish society?
E. A whole lot of new ring roads connecting Ireland’s cities while avoiding congested towns?
Of course, it's all of the above. Good and bad together. But, with the myopia so typical of the financial community, Davy Stockbrokers plumped for the last choice, the "inter-urban motorway network".
With government coffers scraped cleaner than my piggybank, it’s a good thing that the key corridors of this road system will all be in place by the end of 2010. No longer will travellers between the country’s third and fourth largest cities - Galway and Limerick - back up for miles behind town garbage collectors as actually happened to me.
This past month the last stretch of motorway connecting Ireland's first and second cities - Dublin and Cork - was officially opened. The new road will cut travel time from the outskirts of both cities by 45 minutes during peak hours. Now that drive should take about two hours. Double this if you actually want to get into the city.
CURRENCY EXCHANGE SAVINGS
An Irish start-up has come up with a novel way to save money when transferring substantial or regular sums between currencies.
CurrencyFair.com - http://www.currencyfair.com - has created a market to buy and sell currencies without relying on banks. Banks, as we all know, have one goal - to extract the maximum for themselves from any dosh that passes through their hands. When you are transferring large amounts or make regular exchanges between currencies, the sums that banks cream off can rapidly translate into substantial sums.
When you need to exchange a currency in the currencyfair market, you check the interbank rate, the best available, and then offer to buy or sell currency. When a member is willing to take up your offer, the transfer between your trading accounts is made and the money is instantly available to you. CurrencyFair takes a much, much smaller handling fee than the banks, typically around 2 Euro, and everyone's happy.
At least, that's the claim.
To comply with anti-money- laundering legislation, users must register using either a passport number or driver’s licence, banking details and a copy of a bill to prove residence.
This one's worth a try. Try it first with a small amount while you get familiar with the process. This is probably not the place to go when you need a few pounds sterling for a weekend in London. But, when you're bringing in down payments for a house, it could save you BIG money.
MEETING THE NEIGHBOURS
How long should it be before you get to know your neighbours?
We made the mistake of waiting nearly 18 years to meet the White's and the Wood's who share our lane. We'd watch them flutter by on their various errands, but never a how-dee-doo did we exchange.
This year my wife resolved to take the matter in hand.
Lesson 1 - it's easiest to meet and greet on a warm sunny day.
Lesson 2 - a colourful bunch of flowers helps.
Lesson 3 - a lot of these neighbours look similar at first. Carry a chart and pictures to help identify them.
You, too, can pick up a poster of our neighbours at Butterfly Ireland. http://www.butterflyireland.com . As new enrolee's in a nationwide biodiversity survey, we were sent the poster for free and record sheets to keep track of our compatriots' appearances.
Ireland has 32 species of butterflies including a few summer visitors. They're relatively easy to identify and butterflies are excellent indicators of habitat health. Also, it's a lot easier to enlist volunteers for butterfly surveys than, say, dung beetle counts.
Joining the survey has made us a lot more observant. For instance, Small Whites are frenetic fliers, rarely alighting. Often, that's the only way to tell them apart from the equally common Green Veined Whites who like to stop for a pick-me-up at the Purple Vetch flower patch. I read that veteran butterfly watchers can even tell tagged individuals from one another simply by their flight patterns.
Having gotten interested in one native family, we've now included bumblebees in our sightings. Since there are only three species of these natives, that's not beyond us. We're still awaiting our first Red Arsed Bumblebee.
Nosy parkers. Neighbourhood gossips. That's us and glad of it.
SUMMER HIATUS
Ireland's spring was cold, but dry and sunny. And after three miserably rainy summers in a row, this one is shaping up as a winner with only occasional rains and plenty of bright skies. And when Ireland has lovely weather there really is no place on the entire planet that you'd rather be.
I'll be soaking up all the rays I can. So, don't look for this newsletter in August when I'll be enjoying my annual holiday. Maybe this year, I can finally work on a tan.
Scott